Two years ago today my wife gave birth to our son and our lives changed forever.
Oh sure, like harbingers of doom, everyone told us life would change. While they were right, the change was much sweeter than anyone ever let on.
Sleep filled nights changed to warm baby snuggles; free evenings to wrestling matches and sweet night night kisses; late Saturday mornings to sticky fingers covered in mushed banana offering a “bite…” The list could go on and on, but suffice to say, our lives have changed for the better.
1 Samuel 1:27-28
New King James Version (NKJV)
27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. 28 Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord.” So they worshiped the Lord there.
Like Hannah, we prayed fervently for a child, and with Wayne we are blessed beyond what we could imagine. Also like Hannah, we have vowed to teach him the ways of the Lord, and only time can tell if we are doing a good job of it.
For now, however, he seems to pick up on everything very quickly. He can count to 15 without prompting and say all his ABCs and their associated sounds. He loves books and blocks and playing outside and his face lights up the second his hands touch anything electronic. Right now — to us — he’s a super toddler, capable of doing anything.
And he certainly tries. As Christina is fond of saying “He’s all boy.” He takes life at a run and when he stumbles, he gets up and ignores the scrapes on his legs. Sometimes watching him play is like watching a game of pinball. He’s always bouncing from one activity to the next with very little pause, even in the case of injury as mentioned before.
He keeps us on our toes, life interesting, and our hands full, to name a few cliches we hear often. I love him dearly and look forward to seeing the type of man he becomes.
I love you Wayne! I hope you have a great birthday. May God bless you in everything you do.
They say you’re always supposed to take a partner if you go rock climbing and spelunking. Apparently this also goes for my wife and standing. She’s fine walking or running, but whenever she’s standing still her risks of falling over go up exponentially.
Thankfully I was there to catch her and keep her from doing more than just twisting her knee again.
For the record, my wife suggested I use her stand-still clumsiness as a topic for this article and I’m only doing it at her insistence.
There are two quick lessons we can take from this incident.
First, the most obvious one, we as Christians need to be there for each other when we fall.
Galatians 6:1-2
New King James Version (NKJV)
6 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
James 5:19-20
New King James Version (NKJV)
19 Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, 20 let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.
Second, if we are standing still as a Christian — if we are doing anything other than growing and moving forward — we will fall.
John 15:1-8
New King James Version (NKJV)
15 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
We must be productive Christians, growing, learning, and teaching. It’s not enough to show up on a pew every Sunday and Wednesday night. We cannot stand still, we must produce fruit.
Galatians 5:22-23
New King James Version (NKJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
If our lives are barren of these things we can’t truly call ourselves faithful Christians. It’s at this point that someone needs to catch us.
The Do over question goes: “If there is one thing you could do over in your life, what would it be?”
This question is supposed to get you to search deep inside yourself to find that one moment in your life that you regret the most. However, it’s not really that deep of a question. We all have regrets. Most people could spend all their time thinking about them if they’re not careful.
We know — at least we think we know — that Biff Tannen moment in our life. That moment where our lives were changed by one single decision, one missed ball, or one dump truck of manure. Life doesn’t happen like that. Sure there are moments in our lives that we’ve said or done something that we regret, but there are very few things that changes ones life drastically. Life is made up of decisions upon decisions and very few individually change your life.
The few that are the most important, however can be easily listed.
Choosing to follow Christ
This is the most obvious thing I’ve probably said on this blog, and yet it’s definitely the most important.
This isn’t necessarily the choice to become a Christian, though it’s often the same. Those who are blessed to be raised in a Christian family are exposed to the values and mores of Christianity at an early age and often choose to use those as their guiding light — before the age of accountability. (I mention one such child in my article about Myra.)
Daniel is a great example of one choosing God’s word to lead his footsteps early on.
Daniel 1:8
New King James Version (NKJV)
8 But Daniel purposed in his heart…
Daniel made the choice to follow God before it was ever a question, and this affected all his actions from that point on. Becoming a Christian is supposed to be much the same way, but often we have a lot of baggage following us that makes it more difficult to make the decision stick. Note that I said “more difficult” and not impossible. We still have free will and we can choose to overcome any regrets that might color a decision. More on that later.
Choosing your friends
The friends you pick, from grade school on up, affect who you are. In middle school, I had a large group of friends, we weren’t the cool kids by any stretch, but we were nice to each other and to other kids. I was pretty social back then.
Around 7th grade my family and I moved to another town and my angsty teenage mind decided that I didn’t want to be there, which resulted in my friends being the outcasts in the class. I lost whatever social skills I’d picked up from the previous years, became very shy, and when pressed into socializing I was even a kind of jerk.
Fast forward to just before I met Christina, I’d made friends with several really nice guys and they helped me overcome a lot of the social fears I’d developed. I went from being depressed a good bit of the time and avoiding people, to actually spending time with people at social events. It eventually lead me to meeting the love of my life.
Which leads me to…
Choosing your spouse
Much like picking your friends, your spouse will affect who you are in your life spiritually and physically. I won’t go into too much depth here, as I could probably write a full article on this topic. It boils it down to this:
Find someone that will help you grow rather than wither as a Christian.
“Bless The Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts is one of our songs and it defines our thoughts on regrets very well. You see, we both have things that we can look back on and wish were different. However, only God knows where we would be, or who we would be with had we chosen or acted differently. Our past may have been messy, and we may have hurt people or been hurt ourselves, but without the pain, we may not have each other now. With that thought in mind, I wouldn’t change a thing.
The Bible shows us time after time events where tragedy was turned into glory for God. If you are currently struggling in life, or dwelling with regret, have faith. God can make that pain and those actions you regret have meaning.
As I mentioned above, sometimes the choices we’ve made in the past have consequences that make it more difficult to follow God. God can help with that as well. He’s provided help in the form of prayer, study, and the church. When you seek help with these regrets through these avenues, you can overcome anything. Ultimately, what matters more than the trials is that you remain faithful to him through them all.
While the Do Over in the sense of the question doesn’t exist, God gives us something even better. When we become Christians our slate is wiped clean. We are as pure as the driven snow, because we’ve been washed by Christ’s blood.
We get to start over, but He also gives us the chance to see the good come out of the regrets we have.
Question
What good has He brought from your greatest regret?
Chances are, if you’ve been in any kind of relationship with the opposite sex, you’re saying “I’ve had that conversation before!”
This video really hit the nail on the head. (I’m so sorry, I HAD to do it.)
Men solve and fix, women talk and feel. Countless relationship books explain this in an attempt to help us understand the opposite gender better.
I think though that sometimes the point is missed. And I believe that this is what the video is trying to point out.
For some reason, people treat it like it’s a pass for women to control the relationship. As long as men don’t try to fix anything, everything is okay.
However, God made man and woman different but equal for a reason. There are times that talking things out in a situation will help heal wounds that a quick fix (like buying gifts, etc. ) just can’t do. Then there are times that a problem needs to be tackled head on and the cause needs to be removed quickly. (Like a nail in the head.) We have relationship books pointing out the differences not so that we can tiptoe around them, but so that we can embrace them.
When we start doing this, it fulfills us in ways that we never expected.
First of all, men, whether or not you admit it, you want to be a hero. In some shape, form, or fashion, you want to be admired by someone, you want your work praised just a little, and you want it to make a difference in others’ lives.
And women, you may not know it, but you want the man in your life to be a hero. You want a little bit of a knight in shining armor coming home to you each day. When a man gets to solve a problem, he becomes that knight in shining armor for you and for himself. That’s not to say that you desire to be a damsel in distress. No, instead a woman wants to be seen as Proverbs describes her – as a woman of wisdom.
Proverbs 1:20-22
Wisdom calls aloud outside;
She raises her voice in the open squares.
21 She cries out in the chief concourses,
At the openings of the gates in the city
She speaks her words:
22 “How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
For scorners delight in their scorning,
Men, when we listen to them talk about their feelings, they feel loved and desired. This is how they form relationships. If you look back at the beginning of your relationship with her, and think real hard, you’ll remember there was a lot of talking going on. Christina and I talked for hours on the phone when we first met. We talked so much that it ended up being cheaper monthly for me to get a land line for her to call since she had unlimited minutes and I didn’t.
This need doesn’t end when you say I do.
And remember men, listening is active, hearing is passive.
When we embrace the differences in our personalities and use them together to face life, our relationship deepens. We end up accomplishing so much more than we would if we were constantly tiptoeing around those differences.
I’m a big baby when I get sick. A fact that I’m sure my wife will attest to.
When we’re sick, we go to see a doctor. At least, we go eventually. It took me until 3 in the morning to finally decide I was too sick to go. I’m so thankful we have a 24 hour doc-in-a-box and Walgreens. Christina and I were able to make sure it wasn’t strep and obtain dosages of antibiotics and happy syrup.
In case you weren’t aware, you have a great illness. So do I. In fact, everyone does. It’s called sin. (Romans 3:23) The most terrifying part of it is that it’s a terminal illness. (Romans 6:23)
Thankfully, we have a 24/7 physician that can cure it. (Matthew 9:12-13) However, like me, there are people in this world that choose to ignore this illness as long as possible. We think we can handle the consequences of sin ourselves, but end up making the illness worse.
Seek out the Great Physician for the medicine He prescribes before it’s too late.
